Have you ever found yourself nodding along in agreement during a meeting, only to walk away wondering why you didn’t speak up and share your ideas? Or maybe you’ve been given an unreasonable workload, but you’re too afraid to push back and say no. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with being assertive in the workplace, but it’s a crucial skill to have if you want to succeed in your career.
So, what does it mean to be assertive? Assertiveness is the ability to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear and confident manner while still being respectful of others. It’s not about being aggressive or confrontational; it’s about being able to advocate for yourself in a way that’s productive and effective.
Now, let’s talk about why being assertive is so important in the workplace. When you’re assertive, you’re able to:
- Establish boundaries: By setting clear boundaries and communicating them assertively, you can prevent others from taking advantage of you or overstepping their bounds.
- Express your ideas: If you have great ideas, but you’re too afraid to share them, you’re doing yourself and your team a disservice. Being assertive allows you to express your ideas and contribute to the success of your team.
- Negotiate effectively: Whether you’re negotiating a salary or a project timeline, being assertive can help you get what you want in a way that’s fair and respectful.
But how do you develop this skill? Here are some tips to help you become more assertive at work:
Practice saying no
Do you find yourself saying yes to everything, even when you don’t want to? Learning to say no is a key part of being assertive. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re being difficult or uncooperative; it simply means you’re prioritizing your own needs. Practice saying no in a polite but firm way. For example, “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to take on that project right now as I’m fully committed to my current workload.”
Use “I” statements
When you need to express your feelings or opinions, use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. This helps to avoid blaming or accusing the other person. For example, instead of saying, “You’re not listening to me,” say, “I feel frustrated because I don’t feel heard.”
Practice active listening
Assertiveness isn’t just about speaking up; it’s also about listening to others. When someone is speaking to you, give them your full attention, maintain eye contact, and ask questions to clarify what they’re saying. This helps to build rapport and shows that you value their input.
Be specific
When you need to communicate a message, be specific about what you want or need. Avoid vague statements that can be misinterpreted. For example, instead of saying, “I need some help,” say, “Can you please help me with this specific task?”
Stand your ground
Being assertive also means standing your ground when necessary. If someone is trying to push their agenda or behaviour onto you, respectfully but firmly express your own views. Remember that you have the right to your own opinions and boundaries.
Being assertive can help you establish yourself as a leader, build strong relationships with colleagues, and achieve your career goals. It can also improve communication, increase job satisfaction, and reduce stress.
This Guide on ‘What is & What is not Assertiveness’ from our Founder Debra Stevens can help you understand this idea further.
Developing assertiveness takes practice, and it’s important to be patient with yourself as you learn. But by speaking up, setting boundaries, and communicating effectively, you’ll not only feel more confident and empowered at work, but you’ll also build stronger relationships with your colleagues. So don’t be afraid to assert yourself and make your voice heard!
